


Handshake

by Arya_Greenleaf



Category: Bill & Ted (Movies)
Genre: Awkward First Times, Bisexual Character, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Mutual Masturbation, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:00:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28471293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arya_Greenleaf/pseuds/Arya_Greenleaf
Summary: Bill and Ted are alone for the weekend and find themselves in a truly unexpected situation.
Relationships: Ted "Theodore" Logan/Bill S. Preston Esq.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 54





	Handshake

**Author's Note:**

> LAST POST OF 2020 DUDES

“Ted,” Bill breathes. His face is all red and it’s creeping down his neck to meet up with the big pink splotch on his freckled chest. He looks down at Ted in a most frantic kind of way, his eyes darting all over, and Ted feels more naked than he actually is -- which is entirely, but somehow it’s like he’s nuder than nude. “I dunno if I can do this.”

Ted feels himself blush, totally embarrassed. What did he think he was doing? He was a fool for entertaining the idea that Bill _really_ wanted him like this. Ted’s not totally sure how they even ended up here in Bill’s bed. He remembers teasing each other and wrestling for control of the remote on the floor in the den and he remembers Bill’s expression when he got the upper-hand and how they were both breathing very hard right in each other’s faces and how totally, most _completely_ surprised he was when Bill closed the space between them and kissed him right on the mouth.

They’re on their own for the weekend. 

The babes are away at the beach -- a babes’ weekend! They’d found a cheap house right on the water, just a short jog from the boardwalk. They were excited about it! And Bill and Ted were excited for them, too! It was totally rad that they were getting out and doing stuff and seeing the world. Or at least part of the world. It had been real surprising to learn that they rarely got out of the castle back in Medieval England. Bill and Ted had figured a couple of princesses, as cultured and wise as they were, would have traveled the world!

Deacon is on a school trip somewhere across the country. Ted’s pretty sure they’re touring the White House and he’s also pretty sure it’s a terrible idea to let Deacon loose where there’s important stuff that might break or state secrets or whatever.

Captain Logan is off at some seminar.

Mr. Preston and Missy are on a cruise in Alaska and Ted was worried for a solid few minutes that somehow they’d enrolled Bill at Oats’ school. But, they’d graduated and they were both nineteen now anyway and he’s pretty sure that means that neither one of them can be shipped off against their wills even if that doesn’t mean that Ted’s dad won’t stop trying.

So, they’re on their own -- like really on their own -- and somehow they’ve fallen into this predicament where Ted has no clothes on and he can’t escape because his legs are all awkwardly splayed around Bill where he’s kneeling and they’re both just kind of frozen and blushing at each other.

And Ted doesn’t think he wants to escape, anyway.

Bill is very much not naked and maybe that’s part of why Ted feels it extra. He’s still got his shorts on, which is much more than Ted has. He’s still covered, his junk still safely hidden away while Ted’s is just _out_ for the world to have a good look at. He’s _embarrassed_ about it but he’s more embarrassed that everything from his belly button down feels very hot and tingly like he’s looking at one of the _Playboy_ magazines his dad doesn’t think he knows are in the attic.

Bill is looking down at him with the same expression he gets during Math class, like he’s stopped panicking and now he’s just really lost. Very, _very_ gently -- most delicately -- he touches Ted. He just puts his fingertips against Ted’s chest, it’s barely a touch, really. He brushes them across the length of a rib and draws his hand back away again quickly.

“Are you sure about this, dude?”

“Uh-huh,” Ted answers, hardly able to do more than whisper. He can’t really find his voice and even though there’s no one else in the house, he feels like he has to be quiet. 

Bill’s a little bit more purposeful this time, really touching Ted, He puts both hands down, grabbing hold Ted like he’s gonna try and lift him up. He freezes like that, breathing real heavy and looking panicked all over again before he moves his hands all the way down from Ted’s ribs to his waist. Bill’s holding onto him just a little too hard and he starts to touch Ted’s hips and stops, yanking his hands back again.

“Is this weird?” Bill asks. “We’re…”

“Not fags.”

“Right!”

“It’s a little weird, dude.”

“We should stop then. I’ll go home. I should go home!”

“Bill?”

“Yeah, Ted?”

“You are home, my friend.”

“Oh, right!”

“Bill, I -- I don’t wanna stop.”

“But if it’s _weird_ \--”

Ted is almost a little mad that Bill is having this freak-out while Ted’s laying there naked. With his _dick out_ . “ _Bill_.”

“Yeah?”

“I don’t care if it’s weird, dude.”

“You don’t?”

Ted shakes his head and gulps, bracing for the worst. He wonders if it would be rude to make Bill leave the room while he gets dressed again, considering it is Bill’s room after all.

“Well, I guess I don’t care if it’s weird then, either.”

Ted takes Bill’s fluttering, nervous hands and puts them on his stomach. He holds them there while Bill turns even more red than Ted thought it was possible for a person to turn. “You can touch me.”

Bill nods, eyes glued to some anonymous spot in the middle of Ted’s body. Ted takes his own hands away and Bill moves his around, soft and slow over Ted’s stomach and chest and gliding down from his shoulders to his wrists where he holds onto Ted’s hands again. 

Ted has to close his eyes. It’s much too much to be studied like a bug under a glass like this. Bill shifts closer and Ted has to move his legs because they’re just splayed out way too wide around Bill and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. Ted wonders if this is how the frogs feel when they’re all pinned down to that piece of foam in Biology. He’s just glad that he doesn’t have a chubby -- _that_ would be totally bogus.

“You could, um, you could touch me, too, Ted.”

Ted opens his eyes, not sure he heard right. “I could?” 

Bill nods. 

“And you want me to?”

Bill swallows and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment and then nods again. “Yeah. Yes. _Yeah_.”

Ted lets Bill move his hands from where they resting against his thighs -- very careful around very important and very exposed areas -- onto his own. Totally trembling, Bill takes his hands away and watches Ted, waiting for him to do something. 

Ted shifts so he can reach, leaning on his elbow. Ted takes a deep breath and touches Bill’s arm and it feels a lot different than touching Bill’s arm ever felt before. He hazards a chance at touching Bill’s stomach instead and Bill flinches and Ted is pretty sure he’s sucking his stomach in to try and be even more unfairly flat and firm than it already is.

Ted really does think it’s very unfair of the universe to let Bill have _abs_ when he doesn’t even work out or anything -- unless he does it in _secret_ or something which would be totally bogus and Ted is pretty sure he’s thinking too hard about it.

“You have… you have very nice skin,” Ted offers quietly.

“Thanks, I use soap,” Bill blurts. “Missy buys that girly stuff with the bird on it.”

“Huh.” Ted touches his chest and he really wants to touch Bill’s _face_ but he thinks that might be going too far. Bill murmurs something and then covers his face with his hands and groans. Ted snatches his hands away, afraid he’s offended Bill or freaked him out. “I’m sorry!”

“Why would you be sorry about that, dude?”

“What?”

“ _I said_ , you have a nice dick.”

It comes out all in a rush and Ted is most shocked at the revelation. He’s never really thought about whether or not his dick is nice but now that Bill’s said it he’s worries that Bill’s just being polite since it’s right in front of him and all and Ted thinks that maybe he’s too hairy and it’s gross because Bill doesn’t seem to really have much on him at all and what little is there is all so blond _and_ \--

Now Ted’s got a chubby and he’s having a hard time thinking about anything else.

“You could touch it. If you wanted,” Ted squeaks. Heinous. Utterly egregious. He can’t believe he actually said it.

“You sure?”

Ted nods and Bill touches his dick and fireworks go off in his head like the Fourth of July and New Year’s at the same time. Bill’s fingers are too soft and too light but when he closes his fist around it his palm is _warm_ and it’s very different from holding onto it himself when takes a piss or he jerks it and then _Bill_ jerks him once, kinda awkwardly, and stops.

“Do you wanna see mine?” Bill asks. “Just to compare. I think mine’s nice. It’s not as -- _um_ \-- it’s not long. Like yours. It’s, um -- _well_.”

Most hastily, Bill shoves his hand down his shorts and takes his dick out and Ted doesn’t know what to say. Does he tell him a song lyric? Is there even a lyric that’s good to tell your most excellent friend that he has a nice dick, too? It’s shorter -- _like Bill_ , Ted thinks, and really has to stop himself from laughing -- and chubby even though he hasn’t got a chubby and real _pink_ just like Bill’s cheeks.

“I like it,” Ted says, not sure what else to really say. He reaches out and waits a moment to see if Bill will object and when he doesn’t he wraps his hand around Bill's hand and Bill makes a noise that sounds a little bit like when he was Romeo in the school play and pretended to be dying.

“We could put them together,” Ted whispers. He thinks the filter between his brain and his mouth is totally busted.

Bill agrees, much to Ted’s surprise.

They shift their hands around and Ted lays back down and Bill scoots even closer on his knees and Ted just gives up on whatever he’s been trying to do with his legs and wraps them wright around Bill’s waist.

The mattress dips down a little bit when Bill plants his hand beside Ted to stop himself from falling completely forward.

Together, they figure out how their hands should go and Bill’s dick feels very, very strange squeezed up against Ted’s in the middle of their hands.

Bill moves, jerking his hips just a little bit, and they both make surprised sounds and Ted is most embarrassed when he can’t stop hiccuping for a moment. When they’re all settled and not hiccuping like a dork, Bill tries it again. Slower this time. And it _feels_ …

Weird?

Good?

Ted doesn’t know. It’s strange and his heart is doing flip-flops in his chest and he likes it.

With Ted’s legs around Bill’s waist and Ted’s hands around Bill’s and Bill’s around their dicks and their dicks together in the middle of it all, Bill moves his hips like he’s with a babe and he doesn’t stop moving them and Ted thinks that he’s gonna lose his mind and he’s shamefully close to blowing his load.

He’s a little bit proud when he manages to hold on until after Bill’s face gets all twisted up and he chokes. Bill makes a face like he’s real uncomfortable and keeps on moving, looking at Ted like he’s waiting for something to happen. He’s all hunched over and he blurts, _“Oh god, Ted_.”

And that’s _that_.

Ted comes and feels like he should apologize even though Bill did it too.

“Dude,” Bill squeaks.

Neither of them can look down when they unwrap their hands. Bill sits back up on his heels and frowns, holding out his hands and not knowing what to do.

“What do we do now?” Bill asks.

Ted glances down and gulps. He’s a mess. His dick is still hard and it _moves_ when his chest twists around inside. He’s out of his depth. _Playboy_ centerfolds are nice but they don’t do _that_ to him. “Take the coldest shower in human history?” he suggests.

Bill laughs.

Ted likes the way Bill looks when he laughs.

**Author's Note:**

> If you could have seen the MAD DASH that finishing this was in the last five minutes of the year after the first section had been sitting for well over a week doing nothing idk if you would have laughed or just been sad for me. Yes, I smashed the post button and I fixed the ridiculous spacing issues after midnight. Fight me.
> 
> I love comments!
> 
> [Find me here.](https://aryagreenleaf.carrd.co/)


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